


Whiskey, Neat

by PlatonicSolid



Series: Curb Your Compulsion [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comfort, Drinking, Excessive Drinking, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18251051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlatonicSolid/pseuds/PlatonicSolid
Summary: "It's difficult." The look in his eyes was different than every other night they were together. The tender glance from eyes that only focused on him was gone."What is?" Right now, they should be dancing like they always do, laughing and kissing and moving perfectly in sync like they've known each other for years."Trying." The sigh was small, but evident in his voice."Well trying is all we can ever do sometimes."Naruto could barely recognize the discomposed man that sat next to him, and Sasuke could barely keep himself together enough to make sure he doesn't make a mistake.





	1. Red Label

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place after the events of both "Gin & Tonic" and "Sunrise", though i believe it can be read alone. the context may be cool though
> 
> enjoy reading!!!

The game they played was endearing.

 

Naruto knew he had an actual life during the week. He had articles to review, manuscripts to edit, publishing companies to call and hassle, real-life things that people did.

 

But come Tuesday he couldn’t help but think of dancing and drinking, sitting and talking, laughing and kissing this man he barely knew.

 

And come Tuesday night he took the bus downtown in whatever he happened to throw on that day to meet with this enigmatic person known to him only as Tonic.

 

It was the fantastic side of his conventional life. Going to the club was the side of his week that wrapped itself in both mystery and delusion, that allowed him to pretend that he didn’t have to give Sai that new draft or it would be his ass, that allowed him to ignore that he should probably accept that editorial staff position even if it was a temp job while the person that normally held it was on maternity leave.

 

Knowing next to nothing about his companion simultaneously made this experience unbelievably annoying and irresistibly exciting. They didn’t trade names, they didn’t know personal details of their lives, but Naruto can’t help but feel like him and Tonic have an absurdly deep understanding of each other. He liked that he felt comfort in this stranger and that this stranger felt like he was worth the time they spent together.

 

Those moments shared felt natural, necessary, like Naruto was right to be with Tonic and the hearing the loud club music and having alcohol in his system.

 

He didn’t let himself go every Tuesday - Naruto did understand that he should write and try to pay rent - but he figured every other week or so was enough.

 

When he went, every time, even though it was so few times, his mind filled with soft black hair and crisp white shirts and alcohol infused kisses, this man who he knew next to nothing about overtaking everything in his mind for three hours or less.

 

Each Tuesday he went, Tonic greeted him with a lazy wave of his hand and a small smile, his thin black eyebrow raised in amusement as Naruto walked over to sit next to him at the bar. He always met that tired though contented look with a grin; Naruto was just as happy to see the man as the man was to see him, he knew that to be fact.

 

This black haired stranger, that felt nothing like a stranger, always bought him a drink without asking, the very same drink each time without fail - a Tequila Sunrise. Naruto always asked him to sip it with him, but Tonic would always refuse, his eyes half-lidded as he leaned in for a kiss.

 

“Can’t stand how sweet it is on its own,” the black haired man would begin to say, always so softly and carefully, “need to taste it on your lips to appreciate it.”

 

And it sent Naruto whirling, made his head feel light and his heart beat faster. The excitement of this stunning stranger and his perfect business clothes and his eager but gentle hands actually spending the night with _him_ was absolutely amazing.

 

He couldn’t get enough.

 

Their dances, lit solely by the strobing lights overhead, powered by liquor and desire, left Naruto breathless. It felt like hours with Tonic, grinding against him or moving with him, trying to match his pace. For some reason, the dancing was never boring. The smile that reached Tonic’s black eyes was _beautiful_ and Naruto always felt himself laughing at how taken he was by a glance from a man that looked like he shouldn’t be dancing but danced so well that he should only ever keep dancing.

 

Tonic would always grab Naruto’s hips and lean in so close they could only feel each other when he whispered to him. “You’re the most mesmerizing thing.” And then their lips would press against each other, the feeling of yearning being readily expressed through the movement of Tonic’s mouth, how he made an effort to be slow and patient and deliberate with everything.

 

It seemed simultaneously odd and pleasant that they only took it as far as kissing each other. Tonic would hold him by the waist or the hips or the chin or whatever his hands wandered to first just to kiss him like he’d never kiss anyone again. Each time, even though it had to have been dozens upon dozens of times, it made Naruto melt. How peculiar that two grown men, obviously attracted to each other, who met in a bar at 2 in the morning, only made it to making out, and didn’t tire of it yet. They’d grind on each other, so much to the point that Naruto thought that Tonic would jump his bones right there on the dance floor (and if he didn’t Naruto _would)_ but neither did, and neither minded. Naruto would rather stay with Tonic, hands holding steadfast to his shoulders or his hips, kissing him so much his lips hurt, than anything else. It felt like each moment lasted forever when he was pressed against the stranger’s firm body.

 

But he knew that the night always had to end, and Tonic would insist on sending him home, hands firmly placed on Naruto’s waist, mouth moving slowly along with his own lips as per their standard goodbye. The smirk told him that there would be a “next time” and that he wasn’t done with Naruto yet.

 

So it had to be enough.

 

Tonic would sometimes hold him tighter than usual as they danced, or kissed him with more longing as they stood outside waiting for his ride to pull up. Each parting only made the reunions better, Naruto found out.

 

That always told him to come back, any Tuesday, and they’d do it all again with more feeling, with renewed excitement, with bigger smiles and more familiar hands and deeper kisses.

 

Which is why this particular Tuesday, Naruto knew something was wrong.

 

He walked into the club, as per usual, waved to Suigetsu behind the bar, and walked up to sit next to his companion for the night.

 

The wave and sharp black eyes he was used to were gone. Tonic sat, one hand on his forehead pushing back his dark hair, his other hand loosely holding a glass of some brown liquor.

 

Unusual.

 

Naruto carefully made his way over to the bar, looking at how disheveled this man looked. Tonic didn’t look like this before, his hair messy and his face reddened with heat from the liquor or anger or something. It was unfamiliar, the man that he’s been with for these few weeks always looked relaxed and put together, not this.

 

“Hey.” Naruto eased slowly into the seat next to the black haired man, him keeping a smile on his face as Tonic had his eyes unfocused on the bar top. Odd, again. It was at that time that Naruto moved his hand over to brush knuckles against his companion's hand, getting his attention with the gentle gesture. “You good?”

 

“As much as I could ever fucking be.” His voice, still deep, was no longer smooth, the words falling together in a way Naruto hadn’t heard from him before. Tonic didn’t look up from the bartop, but he picked up the glass and finished the liquor, before tapping the bar in an arrhythmic way. “Suigetsu. Three fingers neat.”

 

Suigetsu leaned over, a bottle of Red Label already in his hand ready to pour into Tonic’s glass. Naruto watched as he filled the glass, their silence and Suigetsu’s neutral face distracting him from the loud music of the club.

 

As soon as Suigetsu finished pouring, Tonic lifted the glass to take another drink. Naruto kept his eyes on Tonic, watching the bob of his Adam’s apple as he gulped the whiskey with earnest. He slammed down the glass just as fast as he had picked it up, moving his hands to drag down his face in a sluggish manner. Eyes normally so black and yet so clear were reddened, puffy, entirely _different_ from how Naruto knew the man to look.

 

Tonic looked like something was wrong.

 

Something was _definitely_ wrong.

 

There were many moments of silence, too many as normally Naruto would be red in the face from flirting and laughing, lips tired from smiling and kissing by then. It was different, but not the difference that Tonic brought with him each time they met. Naruto could see that it was a bad day for his companion, and he should probably make an effort to comfort him, as that’s what he’s done in the past.

 

Out of nowhere, at least it felt out nowhere, Tonic chuckled, a grim undertone leaking out of his voice as he spoke. “And to think, I thought that my life was actually looking up.” That sounded so solemn, out of place in this club, the blue and purples of the lights strobing all around them, the music upbeat.

 

“Do you,” what should he say, “want to talk about it?” That was a good start, he hopes.

 

The stranger- not stranger- whoever-, shook his head. “No, that’s not going to help any.”

 

Naruto shrugged then settled his elbow on the bar, resting his cheek on his hand. “Could. Won’t hurt.”

 

Tonic shrugged also and stared at the glass of whiskey in front of him. “It’s difficult.”

 

“What is?”

 

“Trying to do good and trying to get ahead.” Naruto wouldn’t even pretend to understand what _that_ meant.

 

“Yeah?”

 

He took a sip from his glass. “Yeah.”

 

“Trying is all we can ever do sometimes.”

 

The black haired man nodded. “Right. And sometimes we don’t try enough, and that’s what’s the worst part.”

 

What was the use in trying to pick apart what was being said? “Don’t beat yourself up about it. There’s always tomorrow, and next week, and the week after.” Geez, he sounded like a school counselor or something.

 

“I don’t think I’m hard enough on myself about it. I fuck up and it ruins so fucking much. I can’t- I can’t let myself keep fucking up this hard.” Tonic had a downturned face, his shoulders dropped low in an uncharacteristic slouch.

 

“If you keep this attitude, then you’re going to feel horrible about everything you do, regardless of if you do well or not.”

 

“What would you know about my life?”

 

That took Naruto back. “I’m-”

 

“I do something-” He was slurring his words, a burp causing him to pause, “that needs to be done. Regardless of what I might be feeling. It’ll go away, I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

 

“You won’t be fine tomorrow if you look like this right now.” Naruto didn’t get it.

 

The black haired man shook his head. “Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some, it happens, just-” he paused again to down the rest of his drink, “not to me. Not like that.”

 

Naruto nodded, his hand traveling to rest near his companion’s. He wouldn’t pry, shouldn't pry. He should let Tonic say what he needs to say and wants to say and just be an ear to listen. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I hate this.”

 

“Hate what?”

 

“My job, my life.” He somehow made his defeated tone hold a humor to it, like he was about to laugh at an inside joke.

 

Naruto shook his head. “You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay in a job that you hate.”

 

“I hate it just as much as I love it.”

 

“Then, maybe take a step back? Take a break from it all, don’t feel like you need to do something when you don’t want to.”

 

Tonic waved his hand to get Suigetsu’s attention and the bartender simply filled his glass again. “It’s complicated.”

 

“Doesn’t have to be,” Naruto muttered as Tonic took another sip from the glass, “you don’t have to do something that you hate.”

 

“Well, it is. And your little speech or whatever is really cute.” That didn’t have the flirtatious tone behind it that Tonic had when he said anything else about Naruto was cute. It was much more condescending.

 

Naruto frowned, his eyebrows furrowing as he started to say, “Again, you don’t have to be in a job that makes you drink this heavy. You could do something you enjoy.”

 

Another humorless chuckle escaped his mouth. “Isn’t that rich? I said it’s complicated. I said that I love my job as much as I hate it. Who are you to tell me about my drinking habits?” He bounced on his words it seemed, the tone shifting from one of exasperation to having a bite at the end, never resting on one point. “What do you know?”

 

“That you can work somewhere you like. You’re a smart guy, you don’t have to-”

 

“Again, I’m doing what I want.”

 

“You look miserable doing it.”

 

The cut from those dark eyes was definitely not as pleasant or sexy as all the other times Naruto had caught a glance from him before. He could feel the venom strike him to the core as Tonic spat, “And you can’t shut up, can you?”

 

Wow. Naruto stared at his companion for a moment, letting the music fill the would be silence between them as Tonic took another sip from his glass. He sat it down with a sigh.

 

“No, I can’t.” He muttered out slowly, eyes drifting from the hand on the glass back up to half-lidded black eyes.

 

Tonic sighed out a, “Why?” that Naruto felt and saw more than heard.

 

He shook his head in response and slowly moved his hand to touch the pale fingers on the glass, getting one to unwind and hook around his own finger. “Because I care.”

 

And honestly, how could he not care? Their first encounter, the weeks subsequent, how he felt at ease just being around the man, all gave Naruto reason to like him. It wasn’t too far of a leap to caring for him either. Tonic was quiet though passionate, he held a warm while he maintained his aloofness, he was kind and cared for Naruto when Naruto didn’t think it was necessary.

 

So, yeah, he cared. It was human, and he cared for this stranger.

 

The black haired man tried to chuckle, but it was more of a cough and a broken choked up noise than anything. “How would you? Why would you?”

 

“How not?”

 

“You don’t know a damn thing about me. You met me in a bar- you’re _still_ meeting me in a bar. I’m sloppy drunk and I feel like I might vomit if I don’t-” He stopped himself short, clearing his throat before continuing on to say, “you don’t _know_ me, Sunrise.”

 

“But I feel like I do. I’ve talked with you and danced with you more nights in the last couple of months than I’ve ever talked and danced with anyone before. Even if I don’t know your name or what you do as a job, I know how you act.”

 

“When I’m drunk.”

 

Naruto half laughed. “I hear that a person’s drunk behavior is a reflection of their sober subconscious.”

 

“Stop believing everything you read in checkout line magazines.”

 

“Stop believing that you have to do one certain thing when you have opinions.”

 

“I’m doing what I want to, okay?” He snapped again, this time his voice not rising above the music, his eyes not holding much anger at all. “ I’m just some asshole in some club at some stupid hour of the night on a weeknight and you’re just the idiot that thought I was hot or something. We don’t know each other, you don’t- fucking- know me.” He punctuated the phrase by finishing his drink.

 

He was tired. He was angry, not with Naruto, though; this was something that Naruto was trying to convince himself of. He was a drinker that may not get too much encouragement from people in his daily life. He was a guy that loved his work but can’t deal with the pressure.

 

It was complicated, but human, and simple in that regard. Just from hearing how Tonic talked about his life, he could tell conflicted he was, and it hurt Naruto to know someone so beat up.

 

Naruto pried the man’s hand from the glass and replaced it with his hand. “I know.”

 

They sat staring at each other for a few seconds, the unsaid “but” hanging in the air, waiting for one of them to snatch it and continue talking.

 

Neither did.

 

Tonic sat with his eyes unwavered, lights from the dancefloor dipping over his shoulders as Naruto searched for something else to say. They looked at each other, Naruto searching Tonic’s face for any sort of emotion besides exasperation, Tonic eyeing Naruto down, possibly trying to figure out what the next thing Naruto would say.

 

“You deserve to do something that makes you happy.” He said, finally, leaning in close to the drunk man’s ear, speaking as gently as possible. Naruto pulled away, slowly, carefully, and gave his companion a smile as their eyes met again.

 

“Why the fuck do you care so much?” Was the response, no malice in the tone, just confusion.

 

“I told you, I care about you.”

 

“I told you, you don’t know me.”

 

“That doesn’t matter. You can care about someone, and have something with that person without knowing too much. People don’t need intimate details of a person’s life to feel something about them, just a, you know, good idea of their personality will work.”

 

They sat silent for another moment. “You’re something else.”

 

“So I’ve heard.” He smiled at that.

 

“You sit here talking to me, when I could be anyone, saying you care about me, when you have no clue if I give a shit about you or not.”

 

It took Naruto a little bit to not get mad about that. “I know you care.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, like how you seem to ‘get me’ and how you believe that I can do whatever I want.”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“Sure, whatever you want to think, Sunrise.”

 

The blond released a sigh. “I know it. If not specifically me, I know you care about people in general.”

 

That got the man’s attention, black eyes widening slightly, catching in the strobe of the club lights.

 

Naruto nodded. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have come to that first night, try to make me feel better, talk to me, any of that. You saw someone upset, and you wanted them to no longer be that way. It’s natural, to want to comfort another person. To want to help, in general, you know?”

 

Tonic blinked at him, glancing at his empty glass then over to the hand that was holding his delicately, then back up to Naruto’s eyes.

 

He looked like he had a lot to say, but couldn’t settle on one thing.

 

The thing Tonic did settle on, was a blunt, “I hate this.” And for some reason, that crushed Naruto. The quietness of the statement, how the inflection at the end somehow caught on his last word, and flitted in a way that emphasised the finality of his words. There was a sort of resolved tone behind it, like that was a fact, that Tonic regretted his life so much so that there was no reversing that.

 

“Do you still-”

 

“No, I don’t want to talk about it. No, I don’t want to quit my job. I love my work. I love _what_ I do. It’s what I’ve- this is something important to me. It’s important to a lot of important people, and I’ll be damned if I quit it.”  

 

He kept repeating that he loved his job and hated his job and that it was important but to _who_ and _why_ and what about it made Tonic have such a conflicting view on what was needed in his life. “You’re contradicting yourself.”

 

“You can hate something and love it all the same.”

 

“Not like this, you can’t. That can’t be healthy.”

 

“And what would you know about health? You’re a writer, for fuck’s sake.”

 

“Still.”

 

“Just- you’re done here, okay? Go away, talk your flowery self help after school special bullshit to someone else, I don’t need it. Write a fucking poem with all your sappy motivational shit, or make some cheesy and banal social media post. I certainly don’t need you to tell me to ‘think it out’ or whatever.”

 

What was he supposed to say to that? Tonic needed space, and time, not to be worn down by how Naruto.

 

He could understand that, and he could act accordingly. Even if Naruto didn’t want to.

 

Naruto unlaced his fingers then slowly stood up, eyes meeting Tonic’s as he did. There was dejection in those black eyes, and Naruto wanted to stay and talk to him and make him feel as good as he felt after their first night meeting. They held each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, Naruto wanting to tell him it would be okay and that he was there but knowing that Tonic didn’t want that right then, didn’t need it either.

 

Just one more phrase, just something and he’d stay and talk him through whatever was happening.

 

When that one last phrase never came, and Tonic asked Suigetsu for yet another drink, Naruto took that as his cue to turn away, walking straight out of the club and into the cool night air.

 

This would be his first time taking the bus back uptown from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first part of a three part work, and is the first in the "Curb Your Compulsion" series to not be a one-shot. if you want, please let me know what you think of this as an addition
> 
> thank you for reading this!!!!


	2. Black Label

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You look upset." That's because he was.
> 
> "He is upset." Shut up Suigetsu, god.
> 
> "No I'm not." But he was. Upset over Sunrise, upset over how much he can't control in his life, upset over just everything and nothing at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops, late, but here's part two
> 
> please take note that i know nothing about the legal system of any country, and that my knowledge, in the tiny quantity that it is, is all from television shows. so, that is to say, not the best of knowledge. grains of salt with what was said

With as much certainty and honesty as he could muster up, Sasuke can safely say that he did _not_ mean to mess up that badly with Sunrise.

 

Sasuke had fucked up big time and he didn’t want to think about how badly he ruined everything.

 

Couldn’t let himself have one good thing, huh? Just had to insult Sunrise, a man he knew from the start didn’t take kindly to being demeaned, a man who he would never and could never actually insult because there was no negative thing to say about him, a man with such compassion and patience that he looked like a damned saint when placed next to Sasuke.

 

Patience and compassion that ran out thanks to Sasuke not knowing when enough was enough.

 

He shouldn’t have had that bottle of wine on the way to the bar. He shouldn’t have bought that bottle of whiskey, he shouldn’t have gotten drunk by the time 2 rolled around because he knew it was a fucking Tuesday and he knew that Tuesdays were the day that he was supposed to give himself a break from it all and actually enjoy another person.

 

But he ruined it.

 

“Surprised you’re even back here after what happened last week.” Suigetsu muttered, sitting a glass down in front of Sasuke. “Pick your poison.”

 

Sasuke shook his head. “No. Not tonight.”

 

“Last week got you out of drinking?” The was light humor in Suigetsu’s voice.

 

He hated to admit it. “Little bit. I’m just going to take it easy.”

 

“I can get you a beer?”

 

“Sure.”

 

He’d fucked up his Tuesdays. Everything had been going well, everything had been going _amazingly_ well, but he just had to get drunk and act like a dick to this man that only wanted to comfort him.

 

Had it been someone else, he would he have probably let it go. Oh well, messed up, what’s new, time to hit the whiskey again, they were going to get bored or irritated by some shit Sasuke said while he was not off his rocker. But, Sunrise, who was bright and wanted nothing but the best for Sasuke, who sat for God knows how long trying to get him out of the loop of “I love my shit show of a job, I hate my wonderful and vibrant career”, who was holding his fucking hand as he argued about how he knew _nothing_ about him.

 

And the thing was, Sunrise was right. Sasuke should probably rethink why he gets so messed up over every little case, but _shit_ was that last case fucking important and did he screw up so bad- how could he forget to bring in the lack of evidence against his client- why did he let the prosecution's emotional argument overtake the actual _facts-_

 

“Suigetsu, what’s going on with that beer?”

 

This was getting out of hand in a really odd way. He wasn’t lying, or exaggerating (perhaps he was exaggerating a little); he does love his job. Helping people, good honest people, defending them, that’s something he likes to do. And he is _damn_ good at it.

 

Though it seemed to be picking up as of late and spiraling into a misshapen visage of what he did maybe a year or two ago. The things he needed to construct in order to have a solid case built up to present made his head spin. Half of the time he didn’t even think that he should bring it to the table they were so convoluted. But, he had a standard. His job is to defend regardless of the circumstances, taking the cases that those in the office might not, and thus he does his job without much bitching or moaning.

 

There was a reason he was one of the top attorneys in the office, but he was running himself dry doing all of that work. Sasuke makes sure to give everyone the same level of care, and he’ll be damned if he’s scant with the quality of work.

 

Some clients, well, weren’t worth the effort that he gives. It was the few that Sasuke as a professional he couldn’t say were guilty, but as a human, he couldn’t let it go past him. It was the ones that Sasuke _knew_ did the heinous things that they were accused of but the office had to take anyway. That handful that even if they didn’t, they were so smug and full of it that if Sasuke lost the case, and chances are he wouldn’t, he would be fine with it.

 

But for some reason, he never lost the cases for the assholes. The prosecution somehow could never get their facts straight, or the evidence was shit or lost or tossed out for some reason or another. It was always _something_.

 

For some reason, it was always the honest ones that he managed to lose cases for. Those that were at the wrong place at the wrong time, those who didn’t have character witnesses or alibis or something simple like that, those that have a partner and family and can’t afford to do any amount of time for a crime that all logic points to that they didn’t commit.

 

That’s the sort of bullshit that eats him up inside. It doesn’t happen _too_ often but it happens enough, each time leaving him feeling angrier than the last. After the amount of experience he has, he’d think that he could win a case even if the odds were stacked against him. He’d also think that the prosecution could do their job when they actually need to fucking do it.

 

Just thinking it over makes him angry. Why in the fuck was this his line of work? Why did he get so- so _invested_ in this when he knew that he couldn’t win them all and that he couldn’t get justice for everyone.

 

Suigetsu came out with the beer and Sasuke stared at it in contemplation. There was the urge to make himself feel less miserable but his logic told him that he shouldn’t.

 

Fuck it.

 

He took a very tentative sip then placed the pint back down. Suigetsu maintained a neutral expression, biting the inside of his cheek while he wiped a glass dry.

 

“Take a break from work. Juugo and Karin want to hang out this week and they want you to come.”

 

Sasuke hadn’t seen either of his friends in a while and truth be told he did miss them. “Can’t. I need to get an argument together for an upcoming case.”

 

“Your upcoming case?”

 

Well he was working on the case with another public defender, so it wasn’t _really_ his case, but it sure does feel like it’s his. “One could say.” He lifted the pint to his lips and drank, downing a fourth of it before he put it back down onto the countertop.

 

“Yeah, I’m texting Karin to say that you’re coming. Stop taking other people’s cases, you overwork yourself.”

 

And somehow he canceled his meeting with the other attorney (who didn’t mind, thank fuck) and somehow he got roped into going to Karin’s apartment to watch _Game of Thrones_ and somehow he got picked to bring chips and dip to the event.

 

Sasuke didn’t think that he was doing too much. What in the hell did he go to school for if not to work when he wanted doing what he wanted? Sure, he sometimes takes more cases than he should and maybe he has a problem with the clients he takes and the prosecutors he faces that make his job hell but that’s all par for the course.

 

What he does is good honest work.

 

Regardless of if Sasuke thinks that it’s torture sometimes, he does genuinely enjoy practicing law, and he won’t - _shouldn’t_ he should say because he does let it happen - let the cycle of negative thoughts eat away at what he truly enjoys.

 

So why did he let the cycle of negative thought eat away at and devour whole his relationship- budding relationship - with Sunrise?

 

He slapped his forehead as he caught himself on that thought, Sasuke realizing that he was probably even dumber than he thought he was.

 

Those nights he spent with Sunrise were some of the funnest times he’s had since becoming a defense attorney.

 

Sasuke didn’t typically _do_ what he did with Sunrise.

 

He wasn’t a dancer, he wasn’t a flirter, he wasn’t a smooth talker.

 

He didn’t kiss strangers and tell them that they have beautiful eyes, then subsequently get lost in those eyes.

 

But with Sunrise- fuck.

 

God, was that blond mesmerizing. All the things Sasuke thought he didn’t do or wouldn’t do, Sunrise made him do it like he had him wrapped around his little finger. Just a simple toying smile had Sasuke wanting to hold onto him tight and not let go and he _did_ hold on a tight as possible for as long as possible because he wanted to keep that moment. He lived for those moments they shared, even if they barely spoke in them.

 

Everything with Sunrise felt natural and safe and fun. It was better than any cocktail could ever be, just dancing the night away with that _gorgeous_ man somehow made everything else in Sasuke’s life seem inconsequential. The feeling of liquor-laced breath against his lips as he closed in for yet another kiss was comfortable to him. The sweet sound of a tired though electrifying laugh made Sasuke want to fucking _melt_ like he was some kid with his first crush.

 

But he didn’t care how sort of silly it made him feel.

 

Nothing else mattered to him when he was around Sunrise. Just seeing the head of blond hair was enough to make Sasuke rethink what it was he actually was supposed to be doing with himself.

 

Blond hair, just like the blond hair on the head of the man that he saw walk past him on the sidewalk.

 

Wait.

 

Sasuke whipped his head around as fast as he could, turning to look for the blond hair that he felt he knew so well.

 

He could see him, a not too tall blond man wearing- of _course,_ some sort of track jacket, becoming swallowed by the crowd of people as he crossed the street.

 

It took Sasuke a bit to not give chase to the man. It probably wasn’t him, he saw Sunrise in the image of some other blond guy just because he was thinking about him.

 

Sure, that was fine, not at all a little weird.

 

Sasuke sighed then turned back around, allowing his feet to continue to carry him to Karin’s apartment.

 

* * *

 

“You look upset.” Karin reached over Juugo’s lap to grab at the bowl of popcorn Sasuke had, her red eyes meeting his as she said her statement.

 

Suigetsu answered her before Sasuke got the chance to. “He is upset.” He stretched his arms above his head before reaching up to take some popcorn himself.

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “No, I’m not.” He tried to focus back on the episode of _Game of Thrones._ He barely knew the characters names he hadn’t watched it in so long.

 

“Hm, sounds like something a person that’s upset would say.” He saw Juugo turn his head when Karin said that, both of them now looking at him. “What’s got you so-”

 

“Nothing, Karin. Please, I think something is happening with the Lannisters.”

 

“There’s always something happening with the Lannisters. C’mon, Sasuke, I feel like I haven’t seen you in months.”

 

“That’s because we haven’t all been together in months.” Juugo said, eyes still holding Sasuke’s as his voice barely got above that of the television.

 

Silence took them, the ramblings of some character playing as white noise for the group.

 

Suigetsu was the first to speak. “He broke up with his fling.”

 

What the fuck.

 

“What the fuck, Suigetsu?” His friend threw up his hands as if to say that it wasn’t him. Fucking ass.

 

“You had a whole ass boyfriend and didn’t tell us? Sasuke what the hell?” Karin all but yelled, turning fully to face him. “Is that how long its been since we’ve hung out? You got a boyfriend and broke up with him, that long?”

 

“From how Sasuke is acting, it seems like his boyfriend broke up with him. I’m sorry Sasuke.” Juugo tried his best consoling voice, but Sasuke couldn’t feel comfort in it since that is _not what happened._

 

“All three of you are making up stuff. There’s no boyfriend, I’m not dating _anyone_ , and I’m fucking _fine.”_

 

His friends stared at him for another moment. “Don’t look fine.”

 

“Shut the fuck up Suigetsu.”

 

“If there’s no boyfriend and no fling then what is he talking about?” Karin was completely tuning out the show playing at this point, even though she wanted to have a watch party.

 

Sasuke knew in his gut he shouldn’t say anything at all and that he should turn back around and try to piece together the plot of the show. “Bought a guy a drink in the club Suigetsu works at.” He finished with a shrug, turning back to look at the screen.

 

No clue what’s happening on it.

 

“No no no, he bought this guy _multiple_ drinks, and danced with him, and made out with him so much I’m surprised their lips didn’t fuse together.” Suigetsu cut in.

 

He knew he shouldn’t have said anything to encourage this.

 

“Oh my god.” Karin breathed out.

 

“And this wasn’t a one-time thing. Many nights, many drinks, many hours dancing, many rides paid for by Mr. Uchiha over here.”

 

“You dance now?” Was that all Juugo got from that? Bless him.

 

Karin waved her hand at that. “I don’t even know where to begin. So you picked up a guy at a bar and he’s your regular fuck buddy now? Or not anymore I guess since Suigetsu said you broke up.”

 

Sasuke sighed and rubbed his temples. “No. I did not pick up a guy in a bar. I sometimes meet this regular and we get drinks, then dance. And I send him home.” Even though some nights he does wish he took Sunrise to his place.

 

“He’s a regular because you two have date night every week at my bartop.”

 

“So wait, are you or aren’t you dating this man?” Juugo asked, popping a chip into his mouth.

 

“And are you or aren’t you fucking this man?” Karin followed up, grabbing a handful of chips and a handful of popcorn before leaning back into her spot.

 

What is with them holy shit. “I am neither dating nor fucking Sunrise.”

 

Oh shit.

 

“A nickname?” Karin almost yelled in her confusion. “So you don’t know his name?”

 

Suigetsu shakes his head. “They have this cute thing going where Sasuke calls him ‘Sunrise’ and Blondie calls him ‘Tonic’. They didn’t exchange names, at least not to my knowledge since I only hear them refer to each other by their nicknames.”

 

If Sasuke thought that he was the sort of person to do so, he would be blushing. Out of the context of the strobing lights of the club and the blasting music and the alcohol in his system, it sounded so fucking _strange_.

 

“Sasuke, you’ve got to explain this.”

 

Well he doesn’t want to explain the situation at hand but he knows that his nosy ass friends are going to keep speculating and Suigetsu is going to keep giving them half information for fun. “Met a guy at the bar. Bought him a drink. Flirted. Danced. Kissed. Sent him home.” Sasuke gritted out. Please be enough.

 

“But Suigetsu said it happened multiple times.” Juugo added. Oh great, why did he let Suigetsu say anything at all?

 

“Since when do we listen to Suigetsu?” Sasuke said, trying again to turn back to the television. The opening credits for a new episode were playing.

 

“Typically I would agree,” Karin started. Suigetsu flipped her off and she returned the gesture in kind, sticking her tongue out at him, “but seeing as he works in the club where this all took place, he seems like a decent source of information.”

 

“Okay. So he came back another night. Repeat. The end.”

 

“He’s skimping on details! Sasuke, you suck at storytelling.”

 

“There’s no story to tell. That’s what happened.” In the bare minimum of details.

 

Karin shook her head. “This picture isn’t complete.”

 

“Suigetsu, could you fill in the parts that Sasuke missed?” Juugo why say this, why indulge in this at all?

 

And Suigetsu, of course, did not disappoint Karin and Juugo with his level of detail. He walked them through the first night, how Sasuke saw Sunrise from across the bar, wincing at the shots he took, looking downcast. He went over their first interaction, how Sasuke flirted and play argued and teased the blond until he bought him a drink, his new namesake. He told them about how Sasuke tried and tried to cheer him up, how at some point he just offered to dance with him for the hell of it, how they ended up making out on the dance floor, bodies pressed together like they were meant for that.

 

“Then they had this heartfelt and tender ass goodbye, like some shit straight out of a movie. They’re outside of the club so I’m not too sure but I think Sasuke orders him a ride then walks home. He’s so out of it he leaves his jacket.”

 

Ugh, he forgot that he did that. “Shut the fuck up Suigetsu.”

 

“For the first time in your life do _not_ shut up Suigetsu.”

 

Suigetsu clears his throat. “So. Next time they meet. Sasuke is drinking and drinking a little too much and I’m being a good and responsible bartender so I monitor it.”

 

Sasuke remembers that actually. “Not well enough.”

 

“Damn it, I make your drinks for you and make sure you don’t puke your guts out what more do you want from me.”

 

For him to stop telling his business, for starters. Suigetsu continues to recount the second time he meets Sunrise, the nervous and sweet intro that he tried to do, the flirting that gave Sasuke his own nickname, how Sunrise matched him move for move on the dancefloor. He couldn’t tell the other two about what they talked about while dancing, their agreement to meet, as he wasn’t close enough to hear, but he was able to piece it together.

 

“So after that, they meet almost every Tuesday and have this same old routine they go through of flirting then kissing then dancing then kissing then leaving. Until a couple of weeks ago when Sasuke got shitfaced then was being a dick to Blondie and basically told him to go fuck himself and that they were done.”

 

The only sound was the dramatic music from the show and the intercut of dialogue beginning.

 

“Whoa.” Karin muttered.

 

“Wow.” Juugo followed with.

 

Sasuke allowed himself to scowl as he looked at the screen. Again, no clue what’s going on, but he didn’t care at that point. He didn’t want to talk about how bad he fucked up with Sunrise. “The end.”

 

“You gotta make up with him Sasuke.” Karin said, her tone taking on nonchalance as she began to munch on some chips and watch the show again. “He seems to like you and you seem to _really_ like him. You have to.”

 

“No, I don’t have to do anything.” But he does _want_ to make up with Sunrise, to go back to the bar and buy him another drink, to sit down and say “hey wow sorry about that, sometimes I get into really terribly destructive moods that take a while for me to come out of,” then kiss and make up because Sunrise is kind and understanding then they’ll dance and Sasuke will feel less like a piece of shit for being so rude to him.

 

“If it’s got you in a bad mood,” Juugo started, turning back to look at the television screen again, “then you should address it.”

 

It doesn’t help that he also couldn’t take his mind off of Sunrise. Seeing him- possibly seeing him- in the street was messing with him. He wondered what the writer was doing; how he was feeling after their last interaction and if he thought about Sasuke as well.

 

Sasuke sighed. This was a mess. His Tuesday night companion was probably forgetting about him as he sat there in Karin’s living room meanwhile Sasuke won’t be able to get him out of his head most likely ever. The most _amazing_ guy and Sasuke had to be a dick.

 

“I’ll think about it.” He muttered.

 

And think he did.

 

All week.

 

During a meeting with the other attorneys in the office, his thoughts drifted and drifted until he was looking out of a window at the clear sky just thinking out his _eyes_ that rivaled the sky in their purity.

 

When he was on lunch and forgot to pack something that morning so he had to go to the store down the street, he could have _sworn_ he saw the characteristic blond hair and lean body and blue eyes of Sunrise in the checkout line adjacent to his.

 

Sasuke took to looking at the man while he waited for his turn in line, seeing the light tan of his skin and the bright _kind_ smile that appeared on his lips as he handed the cashier exact change. The blond laughed and it rang through the air in the most exhilarating way, and Sasuke knew that it _was_ Sunrise, in the flesh, not in a nightclub, not drinking and flirting with Sasuke, not pulling him up off of the barstool to dance, not covering his lips with his own and hanging off of his shoulders.

 

That was him.

 

It was hard not to stare.

 

Sunrise, even if he couldn’t see him too well with the angle, was striking. The blue of his eyes was more accentuated in the light, his smile somehow brighter and more radiant. Sunrise thanked the cashier, smiling and saying goodbye as he gathered his groceries and walked out of the store. The clothes he wore were in the same style as what Sasuke was used to seeing him in - tight-fitting tank top, low rise jeans, track jacket, beat up sneakers. He looked very much like the typical college student, probably because he was, and Sasuke could imagine that he got the value pack of instant mac and a pack of beers, a loaf of bread or-

 

“Sir? Hello sir are you ready to pay?”

 

Oh.

 

Oh, fuck he was so distracted that he didn’t even notice that he was being rung up.

 

“Yes, I apologize.” He quickly took out his card and swiped it, grabbing the receipt from the cashier and taking his salad and leaving.

 

Maybe if he’s quick enough he could-

 

Sasuke got outside Sunrise nowhere in sight. He groaned and rubs his temples with his free hand.

 

He had to do something about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed it!!


	3. Blue Label

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everywhere I looked, you were there."
> 
> He saw him bite his lip, and look up at him with eyes that were too blue. "How'd I look?"
> 
> "As good as ever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late yet again. last part of this story! hope you all like it!!!

A few weeks. That was a fine debriefing period, Naruto didn’t need to go to the club each week, and he certainly didn’t want to see Tonic again so soon.

 

Or so he thought.

 

The man was on Naruto’s mind near 24/7. What was he talking about that night in the club? Why was he so beat up about it? How was he doing now? It confused Naruto, it was a constant loop playing in his head for days upon days on end. 

 

Is Tonic okay, is Tonic getting better, what’s Tonic doing now?

 

It was getting to be damn annoying with how frequently he thought of Tonic. Naruto could barely write he was thinking about what everything that one night a few weeks ago meant.

 

It also didn’t help that it felt like he was seeing him  _ everywhere  _ he looked. 

 

The time in the grocery store was a fluke, he knew that. Black haired man in a suit in the business district? Those are a dime a dozen in the city so he should have expected it.

 

That didn’t stop Naruto from looking on at the man as he paid for his singular item. If it was him, Naruto didn’t really know what he was supposed to do. Would it be appropriate to talk? Should he even think about it? 

 

He didn’t give it too much thought, and quickly left the store. If it was him, so be it, but he couldn’t dwell. Tonic still probably needed space and time to work out whatever was plaguing him and having Naruto come up while he was checking out at a grocery store wouldn’t be- uh- conducive to helping him get that space. 

 

So he’d have to leave it be. And stop thinking about him.

 

The rest of the week didn’t help, however. Naruto could have  _ sworn  _ up and down that regardless of where he was, he thought that he was always seeing Tonic.

 

When he was late on the first day of the editorial staff job, he thought he saw Tonic as he was bolting down the stairs for the subway.

 

Clear in his line of vision right before he descended the stairs was a head of black hair and steeled black eyes that he wished he was getting lost in. 

 

Logic would say that it probably wasn’t him. As he rode the train a few stops to the block his new job was on, Naruto kept his mind on Tonic.

 

Throughout the day, even though his new boss was sort of being a hardass about being “late” (he was exactly on time, but that’s late to some people now) he thought about how Tonic was probably never late for work. 

 

He probably rolled in an hour before his day started, setting up for whatever business mumbo jumbo they had planned for that day. Naruto could just see in his head Tonic dressed in a freshly pressed suit talking to everyone in the office, getting his assistant to get him and a business partner coffee as he closed a deal. The expression he had would probably be similar to the one he gets when he one-ups Naruto while dancing; the “I’ve got you, what are you going to do about it?” that looks so sexy in the strobing lights and blasting music.

 

It always made Naruto want to show him up, show him that he could do give it right back, and he did, and that look of delightful surprise and desire was so perfect on him that Naruto wanted to only see that face from then on.

 

But that wasn’t the case. Wouldn’t always be the case, as Naruto figured out. Tonic had something that was bothering him immensely, to the point of excessive drinking.

 

What  _ was  _ it? What in his job- that he claims to love- made him so upset?

 

How could Naruto help him? In what way could Naruto help Tonic not feel so horrible after work? 

 

Sakura called him during his lunch hour to see how he was holding up on his first day and he didn’t even try to stop himself from voicing his thoughts.

 

“Yeah, I just don’t know, you know? I want to help him but-”

 

“Naruto, you could always ask the man,” Sakura said through the receiver. “Communication, perhaps? That tends to work.”

 

He huffed. “But Sakura, he didn’t seem too good about talking about it. I don’t want to pry.”

 

“You want to make sure he’s doing alright and help him through whatever is happening but you want him to stay in his comfort zone and open up when he wants.”

 

“Yes exactly that, you understand.”

 

“Uh huh, I understand that you need to pick one.” 

 

Naruto frowned. Sakura continued in his silence. “It sounds like you need to be talking to your mysterious sexy stranger boyfriend-”

 

“Not my boyfriend!”

 

“-fine, sexy mysterious stranger dance partner that you happen to gush about every ten minutes and make out with frequently. I call you to see how your first day is and you talk about this guy.”

 

“Sakura!” He elongated the last syllable of her name, “He wouldn’t take too well to it, I just know it.”

 

The eye roll was evident even through the phone. “But if you want to know it won’t hurt any to ask. Either he’ll open up or stay closed off like he’s doing.”

 

Naruto could hear the patience in her voice. She was right, in a way. “If I do, and he does, it wouldn’t be natural, organic. Tonic would’ve opened up if he wanted. I think I should just be support, try my best to ease him, not push him.” Wait until he's ready. If he ever gets the chance to do so, that is.

 

Sakura sighed. “It’s whatever you find best.  You would know him better after all. I’m behind you chasing your dude.”

 

He smiled. “Thanks.” Naruto glanced at the time.” I’m gonna eat, I’ve got like twenty minutes left and I want a smoothie from the place across the street.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, see you soon, Naruto. Have a good day at work.” She told him. They said their goodbyes and Naruto hung up, slumping in front of his sandwich and bottle of water.

 

God, what a mess he was. He had to stop thinking about Tonic. Not that he could help himself.

 

The following week went just about as good as he would have thought it would go. More work, adjusting to the new schedule. Not seeing Tonic, though still thinking about him nonstop.

 

Even when he was supposed to be working on this next story for Sai he was distracted by his thoughts of Tonic. His favorite work spot wasn’t enough to help him focus and take his mind off the man.

 

Naruto swore he had it so bad that he thought he saw Tonic outside of the window just then, passing by in his fancy tailored grey suit and brown dress shoes, looking so serious but  _ so  _ attractive it was almost unfair. It was just a glance, he passed by fast and without any to-do about it and Naruto knew he should just ignore it and work. Probably wasn’t even him.

 

* * *

 

He was there. Sasuke knew it for a fact this time.

 

In the coffee shop, laptop sitting on a high rise table, Sunrise typing away, knitting his eyebrows and biting his lip with a look of concentration on his face. Whatever he was doing, probably writing a script or scene or something, was taking all of his focus. 

 

Sasuke watched as the blond sighed in frustration and closed his laptop, just sitting there with a hand holding up his head as he thought about something. 

 

God was he a sight for sore eyes; even just sitting there Sasuke thought that he looked gorgeous.

 

Okay, he was going to do it. He was going to walk in and talk to him. 

 

Sasuke backtracked and went to the door of the building, pulling it open and stepping carefully inside. 

 

The coffee shop was spacious, making a rustic feel look modern by having wooden paneling on the walls to go with the chrome table and chairs. 

 

Sasuke looked around for a second until he found his goal, straightening his posture and tie before he took the walk over to the table. 

 

What should he say? Should he start right off with the apology or should he explain himself a little? How would Sunrise even react to seeing him there, now  _ that  _ was a question he should be asking. 

 

Well, he wouldn’t have to wonder too much longer. 

 

Before Sasuke could reach the table, Sunrise rose out of his slumped position to turn around and get up. The blond caught Sasuke’s eyes and froze, the blue eyes that Sasuke couldn’t get out of his mind widening in both shock and realization. If Sasuke thought about it, he could have sworn he saw minute excitement ripple lightly across his face. 

 

“It sure is fancy meeting you here.” 

 

God his  _ voice,  _ unfiltered by the club music, was clear and lively, bright even with the drip of sarcasm coming off of it. 

 

“That it is.” Sasuke could barely muster that up as a response. “Can I buy you a drink?” Was what managed to come out and Sunrise allowed his face to turn from a frown to a small smile, a tiny laugh accompanying it. 

 

“Sure. Though I’m not the biggest fan of day drinking, so just an iced coffee would be nice.”

 

Sasuke returned the smile in kind. “I can do that.” 

 

He turned and went to the counter, waited in line for his turn, stealing glances at Sunrise whenever he could. The writer was typing something out on his phone, then after a few seconds of staring at the screen, he sighed and pocketed the device, a smile creeping onto his face as he slouched down to cross his arms onto the table and rest his head there. 

 

Not that he could help thinking it, but Sunrise was  _ so  _ cute. 

 

“Uh, sir, are you ready to order?” The young barista looked confused and slightly worried. Oh again with this? Damn, he had it bad. 

 

“Yes. One large iced latte and one medium black coffee, thank you.” Sunrise looked like he liked lattes, at least he hoped he did. 

 

“I’ll have that right out for you. That’ll be $7.28 please.” He gave his card and got the receipt, walking over to the waiting area for the placed orders. 

 

Looking again he saw that Sunrise had sat back up and was back to writing on his laptop. There it was, the knitting of his eyebrows, the biting of lips he knew would taste sweet, the concentration that he knew must be required to write as much as he did. Sasuke took the coffee quickly and went back over to the table, sitting the iced latte down next to the blond as he took to the other side of the table.

 

“So,” Sunrise leaned back in his chair, eyeing the iced latte carefully. He pulled on the sleeve of his orange tracksuit jacket. As bright and frankly obnoxiously ugly the blond’s outfit of choice was he wore it  _ well  _ and Sasuke couldn’t help but think that there was nothing more fitting for him to wear. “It was you.”

 

“What was?”

 

“Outside. I thought I saw you- did see you I guess- outside this window.” He pointed to the window behind Sasuke. “Thought I was just daydreaming.”

 

He let himself chuckle at that. “Daydream about me often?” 

 

“Often enough.” Sunrise bit back, inflecting a humor-filled note in his snark. “Did you look for me, or do some sort of businessman magic to track me down or what?”

 

Sasuke had to smile. “Was walking by. It’s my lunch hour.” Simple. Blunt, truthful, easy.

 

Sunrise laughed. “Of course it is. This is the part of town for all of that anyway.” His smile eased out and reached his eyes, a tan hand moving from his laptop pad to reach for his drink. “Somehow you knew I liked iced lattes too.”

 

He shrugged. “Lucky guess.” It was.

 

“Not the luckiest,” He said after a sip, “I like two sugars in mine. Would’ve been too weird if you got that right too though so I guess this is fine.”

 

Sasuke laughed a little. “Two sugars?” Somehow it fits. “You did always like sweet stuff.”

 

“Still like sweet stuff. How do you take your coffee?”

 

“Black, nothing in it.” 

 

Sunrise hummed lightly. “And of course you’d like your coffee black. I’d actually be surprised if you didn’t. You never did like sweet stuff.” 

 

Only him, Sasuke wanted to say. He was the only thing remotely sweet that he could possibly stand. “Yeah. I’m pretty simple that way.”

 

“Not in other ways, though.” Okay, he deserved that. It was about time they got to talking about that night a few weeks ago.

 

Sasuke cleared his throat. He guessed it was as good a time as any. “About that night, I was coming from a fai-”

 

“No, don’t.” 

 

What?

 

Oh god please don’t tell him that Sunrise didn’t even want the apology. 

 

“You don’t have to share details about yourself if you don’t want to.” The blond said, his eyes turned down, taking another sip from his coffee. “I’ve done a lot of thinking about that, about how you didn’t say what you did for a living. It’s privacy, and I get that. I can infer enough from the tailored suit and fancy wallet and Rolex that you do something pretty important, and that’s enough for me.”

 

Sasuke relaxed a little. He was thinking of him; he was  _ still  _ thinking of him after all those weeks of silence and worry, Sunrise still had him in his thoughts. “Thank you. But I still have to apologize for my behavior. It wasn’t fitting for anyone, and I shouldn’t have let my problems bleed over to affect you-” or what they had together, he wanted to add. 

 

Sunrise nodded. “Thanks for that. I wanted to apologize too.” For what? He didn’t do anything wrong, he was just kind and thoughtful, nothing to be sorry about. “I shouldn’t have tried to push you to talk about something you didn’t want to. You were right, we’re two guys that meet each other in a bar every week, I don’t have too much of a right.”

 

Sasuke took a sip of his own coffee, it cooling down a bit too much in their talking. “You were trying to help.” He said, placing the cup down. “You cared. Can’t fault yourself for that.”

 

“And I still care. But I can’t let that overstep what’s within my boundaries to do. Our relationship wasn’t there yet-” he paused, cut himself off, looking up to meet Sasuke with a tender look in his too blue eyes, “so I shouldn’t have, even if I wanted to. I should’ve just, I don’t know, been support. An ear to rant to, a shoulder to lay your head on.” He ended with a shrug and another sip of his coffee.

 

That was exceedingly kind of him to say. He didn’t need to say any of it, hell, Sasuke would’ve been fine if he said none of it actually, but one thing he did say stuck out to him. “Our relationship wasn’t there yet.” Their relationship. Their dancing and kissing and laughing together until it was too early for work but too late to truly go back to sleep. It admittedly wasn’t the most complex of things; they had basically just physical attraction with dots of more genuine and softer feelings mixed in. It was a work in progress. They were in one stage, and they had yet to make it to something more substantial. 

 

But even Sunrise knew that it was something that was coming. Could have been coming.

 

“It still isn’t.” Sunrise muttered out from behind his straw, playing with the pant leg of his slim-fitting orange track pants.

 

“But it could be.” He said it before he could even think to phrase it a little differently.

 

Sunrise lowered the drink from his lips and smiled a smile that Sasuke felt was ingrained deep into his mind. Bright and stunning and beautiful, full of happy energy that made Sasuke’s heart stop in awe at how- just-  _ pure  _ it was. “It could be.” The blond repeated, his tone of voice taking on the same coating as his smile. 

 

Sasuke nodded, picking up his coffee to take another sip. “It could.” 

 

“And- and you’d like that? For us to-” he paused, his eyes looking up as though he were searching the ceiling for the words, “keep it?”

 

“Yes.” And of them to let it grow, too.

 

The blond released a large contented sigh then grinned. “Wow.” He sounded almost breathless.

 

Sasuke rose an eyebrow. “Wow?” 

 

Sunrise leaned onto the table, allowing his elbows to rest next to his laptop. “I’m- yeah, wow.”

 

They were back. He was hesitant to say back together, but they were back to being on the same page. The blond held his hand out over the table to him, palm up, and Sasuke placed his own in it. The gesture spoke of Sunrise’s warmth, and Sasuke couldn’t help himself from absorbing it.

 

“You know, everywhere I looked, you seemed to be there. Going into the subway, leaving a shop, turning a corner. Couldn’t catch you but couldn’t escape you either.”

 

His companion laughed at that, his index finger hooking itself onto Sasuke’s own in the most deceivingly innocent gesture. “Oh really now? And how did I look?” The smile never left as he leaned in further, holding Sasuke’s eyes in place.

 

Sasuke leaned in as well, his hand moving to rub a thumb on the inside of the blond’s palm. “As good as ever.”

 

Sunrise sighed and smiled at him. If he decided to close the gap, Sasuke might have panicked; he never displayed affection in public- never had anyone to  _ do  _ that with really- it was strange to do so to him, especially when they just talked again for the first time in a while.

 

But he can’t say he would’ve minded. He might have enjoyed it.

 

“I’d like to see you more, Tonic.” It was firm, resolute, like Sunrise had been thinking about that for a while. He very may have been, maybe for weeks he was thinking that.

 

Sasuke felt his eyes widening, and he stopped himself from chuckling at the bluntness of the statement. He was still apprehensive. Letting Sunrise into his life when he was still such a mess, well, that didn’t sit too well with him. He was too mean, his moods changed too quick, he wasn’t always able to dedicate time to other things- let alone people- due to how much he took on at work.

 

“Would you?”

 

But that doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t try to do things for him. 

 

“I would.” 

 

He let a smile form on his face. “Here?” 

 

Sunrise smiled too. “Sure. What’s today? Wednesday?” 

 

“Doesn’t have to be on a certain day, you know.” 

 

“Well- I- How would we know when to meet if we don’t agree on a day?” 

 

Sasuke had to laugh. He pulled his phone out of his pants pocket and wiggled it in his hand. “Twenty-First Century technology.” 

 

“Oh. Right, right, I just wasn’t sure if-“ He cut himself off, Sunrise taking to a bit of rambling in his slight nervousness.

 

That made sense. If Sasuke were to tell the truth, he did like the anonymity of their relationship, but seeing Sunrise there, meeting him there- “Exchanging phone numbers is fine with me.”

 

Sunrise gave him a laugh before reaching over to gently take the phone from his hands. “Alright. Pull up the contacts list so I can put in my info. I’ll even keep your little name for me in your phone.” He turned the phone around so Sasuke could unlock it and go to the contacts, their fingers grazing each other as he navigated the device.

 

“So you’ll be Sunrise?” 

 

He nodded, taking the phone and typing in everything. “And in my phone, you’ll be Tonic.”

 

“Naturally.”

 

“Naturally.”

 

They settled into a smile. Sunrise took out his phone, the clear case a bit beat up, the tempered glass having a few scratches on it. Sasuke was able to catch a glimpse of the lock screen - what looked like a repeating image of small green frogs on an orange background. It was sweet. He quickly typed in his information, then sent himself a message. “Done.”

 

“Great. We can figure something out.” He smiled again, taking back his phone and resting his chin on his hand. “I’m glad.”

 

Sasuke nodded, folding his arms on the table, taking in the features of his companion. He reached for his cup to take a sip of coffee, finding it much too cool for his liking.

 

Sunrise began to do something on his phone, and Sasuke peered at him from over the rim of the cup. “What’s this?”

 

Another smile. “Contact photo. Hope you don’t mind.” Cheeky.

 

“Even if I did, you’ve already taken it.” 

 

“Could delete it.” He gave back with a shrug, picking up his own beverage to take a sip. The ice in the cup looked to have mostly melted.

 

Sasuke glanced at his own phone. “Would you?”

 

“Nah.” Sunrise said, straw between his lips. Sasuke raised his phone and quickly took a couple of pictures himself. He was able to get Sunrise just as his eyes looked up to meet the camera, drink still up to his lips. “What’s that?”

 

“Contact photo.”

 

“Copying me.”

 

“Maybe.” Sasuke shrugged. He assigned the photo quickly and put his phone away. “So what’s on the laptop?”

 

Sunrise raised his eyebrows then placed his drink down. “Oh? I’m just working on something. A project, I guess.” He dismissed it pretty quickly, though he was trying to hide a small smile.

 

“Looked pretty serious about ‘just a project’.”

 

“Haha,” he said sarcastically, “I’m behind on something I was doing with a friend. A small collection of short stories that he’s doing some art for. I need to finish and edit the stories before I send them off to him since he hates seeing my incomplete work.”

 

Sasuke drummed his fingers on the table. “Guess you do that often?”

 

“Often enough.” Sunrise sighed. “I never mean too! This one, I  just can’t get the scene right, and I feel like the main character’s dialogue is too flat.” He even took to pouting at the end.

 

How cute. “Well,” Sasuke glanced at his watch, “I’ve got time to kill. Bounce an idea or two off me.”

 

Fuck, Sasuke knew that he had to be a broken record by then but,  _ damn  _ was that expression of elation and just pure joy that appeared in Sunrise’s eyes beautiful.

 

God, did Sasuke like what was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading!! see you next time!!!


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